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Friday, April 17, 2015

When a watch is not just a watch

Watches also boosts one’s projection of intelligence and lord knows, our politicians need all the help they can get in that department.
COMMENT
watch_600Oh dear, looks like everyone is getting a little too worked up over the expensive timepieces our politicians are sporting. From a RM5,000 TAG Heuer to the RM180,000 Audemars Piguet, people are wondering how public servants can cough up those exorbitant amounts of money for such ostentatious pieces of jewellery.
While I am still scratching my head over how to pronounce ‘Bvlgari’, some Malaysians are already asking what’s up with those expensive watches – after all, a watch is just a watch. An expensive one does nothing that a cheap watch doesn’t. Plus with everyone carrying cell phones with built-in clocks nowadays, watches have become practically redundant.
But you know what, I think people are just jealous. People are jealous that they can’t afford to buy those watches they can’t pronounce. All they can afford to put around their wrists are those dua suku kata watches like Casio and Seiko or a bit up market would be a tiga suku kata watches like Citizen.
The truth is, people don’t have to get jealous. After all, people are just ordinary citizens who can never match politicians. Why? Because politicians are special. They are the chosen ones, if I may say so.
And because politicians are so special, they need special watches – in fact, they are so special that I don’t think they should be buying their own watches. Someone kind should be procuring special watches for them instead. It’s like a gift, really.
‘Be nice and you get a Tag Hauer!’
‘Take a selfie with me and you get a Rolex!’
‘Sign these papers and you get a Baum & Mercier!
‘Endorse this project and your entire family gets a Hublot.’
Fantastic!
Who needs Santa Claus in December when it’s Christmas all year around for politicians, right?
Okay, I know I’m merely shooting my mouth off here and having some fun at their expense – I’m sure these watches were legitimate purchases.
And while it is true that ordinary folks like us do not need such luxurious watches since we can pretty much tell time using the Mickey Mouse ones on our wrists, we cannot deny that our leaders need awesome watches to jaga their appearance and be presentable at all times.
If you don’t believe me, take a look at Khairy Jamaluddin with and without his watch. With his Reverso, he looks handsome and influential. Without it, he looks like a typical kampong boy.
The same goes for Hishamuddin. With his Rolex GMT Master…err….he looks….err…sorry, sorry, bad example. Let’s move on.
Anyway, wearing expensive watches also can really show off one’s intellectual prowess. And since Tun Mahathir did say that most politicians were a bunch of idiots, these expensive watches do come in very handy to counter the idiocy – make them look a bit smarter lah.
Better still, if they start wearing two watches – they would look twice as smart. However, I am glad none of them actually wears two or more, especially Ahmad Maslan, a 3.85 CGPA achiever who still needs a Rolex Submariner to look smart since he is in the habit of making err… less than intelligent statements ever so often.
So the next time you see a politician wearing a luxurious watch you have trouble pronouncing, don’t be jealous. Just remind yourself that without those expensive watches, these politicians would appear to be really dumb and plain looking.
Meanwhile, there is one guy in our local political scene who feels that he needs no watches at all – and I can hardly find any pictures or videos of him wearing one.
Why do you think Tony Pua never wears a watch? My guess is simple – Tony is just too handsome and too intelligent for any brand of watch. I bet he can tell the time simply by looking at the sun!

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